Death is a part of life, and so are the funerals and memorial services held to mark an individual’s passing. But when we’re called upon to speak at these occasions, many of us are at a loss for words. Here are some basic guidelines for writing a eulogy, from palliative specialist BJ Miller and writer Shoshana Berger.

As the head of a non-profit that focuses on “end-of-life” care, BJ Miller thinks about death more than most. He shares his answers to commonly-asked questions.